Does It Take 21 Days To Break A Habit?

We have hundres if not thousands of habits. Some we created consciously, many happened unconsciously. When start the process of changing, breaking bad habits and creating new ones is always a challenge. The first questions peole ask are ‘how long will it take to break a habit?’ or ‘is it true I can break a bad habit in 21 days?’  The reality is very different from the assumption in the second question.

To break a habit, good or bad, it will take months or even years if the habit is persistent and old. The 21 days to break a bad habit is a myth, and we are looking at habits in completely the wrong way. When we ask this question, it shows we don’t really understand what a habit looks like inside our brain, and just how our brain sees habits. Breaking bad or old habits has nothing to do with ‘breaking’ habits, and everything to do with how we create new habits.

Let’s start at the beginning and understand how our brain sees habits. Then we can look at what really works to break bad habits.

The Science Of A Habit

So, what’s the science behind a habit? Or to be more precise what’s the neuroscience behind a habit?

A habit is a bunch of neurons which light up (or fire) when a particular action or thought happens – yes, even a thought! The same neurons fire when the same action occurs. As the neurons fire together the brain creates connections between them called neural pathways.

The more often they fire together the brain makes the neural pathways stronger so the signals between the neurons transmit faster. The faster the signal travels between the neurons and along the neural pathways the more automated the habit (actions) become.

For the brain, each habit simply is a bunch of neurons, which could run into thousands, connected by neural pathways, and fire together when a particular habit/action happens.

In fact, the brain doesn’t know a bad habit from a good habit. All the brain knows is it has a bunch of neurons some of which fire often, and others which fire up infrequently.

What the brain is constantly working out is which neurons and neural pathways to strengthen and which ones to weaken. It must carry out this balancing act because it has limited resources and limited energy. Therefore, it must decide what to strengthen and what it will weaken and dismantle.

It’s important to know the brain weighs less than 2% of our body weight, but it uses 20% of the body’s energy. With this amount of energy use, which is still a finite amount it must make the decision to which neurons and neural pathways it support and which it doesn’t!

How To Break a bad habit – The Basics

It may sound counterintuitive, but you must focus on new habits you want and will create.

Put your effort, focus, and attention in creating new habits – see below about why you shouldn’t even think about your bad or old habits.

Build triggers, routines, or processes to help you create the habit you want. Break it down to its ‘easy to do’ components and then repeat them as often as you can. The more often you can successfully complete parts or the whole routine of the habit the better.

What you are starting is the process for your brain to recognise the start of a habit. It will see a bunch of neurons firing every time you carry out the actions of the habit you want. It will see it repeated regularly, and it will connect the firing neurons. Then it will establish the neural pathways between the neurons. As you continue to repeat the habit, the brain will strengthen the neural pathways. This is done by covering the connections with a fatty tissue called Myelin. It’s a bit like the plastic covering on electric wires.

What the Myelin does is help to speed up the signal between the neurons. The more Myelin wrapped around the connections the faster the signal travels and you are well on the way to the habits becoming automated.

In essence you cannot do anything to get rid of your old, bad, or unwanted habit. Basically, you are diverting the brains energy and resources to the habits you want to create and the habits you want to keep. This will force the brain to start ‘dismantling’ the old, bad, and unwanted habits – if you are not doing anything to reinforce them!

How To Create A Habit – An AnAlogy

Imagine you are stood at the entrance of a large field where the grass is knee high. Nobody has stepped foot in the field. Straight ahead of you on the opposite side of the field is a gate, and you decide to cross the field to the other side.

When you cross for the first time you will have little to no effect on the grass by crossing the field once. Most of it will bounce back up and tomorrow it will look as though nobody had crossed the field. The walk across the field will be slow, and perhaps a little tough as you work against the tall grass and the uncertain ground below it.

Now imagine crossing the field once every day along the same path. The grass will become trampled and lay flat under your feet. Each day as you cross the field along the same path, the grass will start to give way to a recognisable path.

As the grass is removed from the path, it becomes easier to cross. In fact, as time goes on you probably won’t even think about the path as you come to the field, you’ll go right ahead and cross it. There will be days when you are so engrossed in your thoughts you won’t even notice you have crossed the field!

This is a good analogy of creating new habits. The first few times of creating a new habit will be tough, but over time it becomes easier.

Let’s now assume that the path has become muddy and every time you cross it messes up your shoes. Occasionally you stumble and fall as the path has become uneven in places. This is now not a good path to cross the field, and you can also say it’s become a ‘bad habit’.

Let’s continue with the analogy. Imagine you find a gate to the left-hand side of the field, and you decide it will be much better to create a new path to this new gate. As you start your new path, it will be tougher to cross the field than simply using the old path straight across the field. You know the old path is not good for your shoes, or clothes if you stumbled and fell, but it is easier than carving out a new path.

Every day as you enter the field you see the old path (old habit), well-trodden, easy to get through even with the mud and unevenness, and the new path which isn’t quite a path yet and will take some effort.

At the entrance you stand their knowing the new path is better for you, but the lure of the old path is strong. If you are rushing and not thinking as you enter the field the chances are extremely high you will head down the old path without a second thought.

This is the pull of the old habit which will stop you from putting in the work to build the new habit.

However, each day you persevere and walk to the left side of the field. Slowly and surely the new path starts to form, just like a new habit. And just like the old path/habit, the new path/habit will take time but will also become automated and over time will become your preferred option. Stick with it.

what happens to old habit?

If the neurons and neural pathways of habits don’t break down what happens to them?

If you were to completely stop performing your bad habit the brain will notice. It will notice the collective neurons which make up the habit are not firing or not firing together. It will notice signals not being passed along the neural pathways between the neurons.

As I mentioned earlier, the brain has limited resources, and this is an opportunity for the brain to start dismantling the ‘infrastructure’ of a habit which isn’t being used. First the fatty tissue of myelin will be removed. It may not be completely removed, but it will remove it so it can be used on other neural pathways.

Then some of the neural pathways will be dismantled. It’s as though the habit starts to fade into the background. They don’t completely disappear, but the brain is keen to re-use the limited resources where they are needed, namely other habits which are alive and kicking.

Here lies the danger. The saying “falling back into old habits” hold true because the old habit hasn’t been fully dismantled within the brain. And it’s so easy to re-ignite the firing of the neurons of the old habit, and the connections between them.

Going back to the analogy of the field with the old path and the new path. As you make the new path more accessible and easier to cross what happens to the old path? Over time, if you don’t walk down the old path, the grass will start to grow. But it may not be the same colour are the rest of the grass as it’s new. Given enough time the old path will disappear. However, if someone came along and mowed all the grass in the field, they will find evidence of the older path which cut straight across the field.

In a similar way old habits don’t always go away for ever. So, it’s important to focus on the new habit, your new approach, to keep you from falling back into the old habit!

Why You Shouldn’t Even Think of Your Bad Habit?

Remember I said the brain doesn’t really recognise habits? It just knows it has neurons which fire together, neural pathways which connect them, and whether they are used often or not.

Here’s a weird thing. Thinking about a habit also strengthen the habit – the neurons, and neural pathways. How is this possible?

Our brain is truly a magical thing which still amazes us as we discover more about how it works.  One thing which is amazing, and mystifying is the brain doesn’t distinguish between reality – what we see as we go about our day – and things which we visualise. Therefore, sometimes we can have vivid dreams which we believe to be totally real, and we believe we are living out what we are dreaming.

Back to habits. What neuroscience has found when we think of a habit (old or new) the same neurons and neural pathways light up. Let me repeat this. When you act out a habit, or simply think or visualise about performing the habit, the same neurons and neural pathways light up!

So, even thinking about your bad habit will keep strengthening it.

If you watch sports people, you will sometime see them going through a particular move. A tennis player visualising the backhand they could have played but didn’t. The visualisation helps to fire the neurons and neural pathways for the habits you want.

So, visualising the new habit is a good thing.

Visualising or thinking about your bad habit isn’t helpful in getting rid of it.

Which is why I say the key thing you can do to get rid of a bad habit, is to focus on the new habit.

Perform it often.

Visualise it too.

What Else Can You Do to Get Rid of Bad Habits?

There are a few more things you can do to really give yourself the chance to get rid of your bad habit. Below are the top suggestions and one’s which I often use with my clients. You don’t have to action everyone. Pick the one (or two) which will be easy for you to put in place, and you know will work for you.

If one them doesn’t work, then try again with a different action. Of course, you may also have something you know which will much better. Keep trying …don’t stop!

• Understand and become aware of what are the triggers to your bad habit. There will be something which happens, doesn’t happen, or makes you feel a certain way which triggers you to perform your habit. When you find the trigger has been pulled for your bad habit, stop. Consciously choose to carry out the new habit or do something else which will stop you from reinforcing the old behaviour.
• Learn what you get from your bad habit. What’s the pleasure or satisfaction the bad habit gives you. It will certainly be giving you a kick of dopamine which makes you feel good at a neuroscience level. What do you get from your bad habit?
• Be clear with yourself the reasons the habit is bad for you. What does it take you away from doing? What does it stop you from achieving? How does it affect you, your loved ones? How does it affect your behaviour? How does it affect how you use your time? There’s a bunch of other questions you can ask, and the more honest you are with yourself the better.
• Give yourself a ‘penalty fine’ when you perform the bad habit. Perhaps make a payment to someone you don’t like! Or it can cut down the time you have to watch tv or play a game as a penalty. Maybe you will have to do a chore you hate – ironing for an hour?
• Find an accountability partner. Between the two of you, you can check-in each day (or each week) and hold each other accountable to performing the new habit and being truthful about the times you got stuck in your bad habit. You can also ask your accountability partner to impose a forfeit for performing you bad habit!

Take some time and brainstorm ways you can focus on the new habit and how to stop performing the bad habit.One thing which will help is to write everything down from the points above. This way you can see the benefits of following a good new habit and the downsides of the bad habit.

Summary

A bad habit does not disappear after 21 days. Sometimes you may well feel you have broken through and got rid of a bad habit. On the surface this will look true, but as I showed above, the neurons and neural pathways will still be there and will take a long time to dismantle. This is particularly true if you are trying to break a habit which you have been carrying out for years.

Focus totally on the new habit you want and be clear on the benefits it will give you. Repeat the benefits to yourself often.

It’s easy to say, but don’t even think about the bad habit as this will keep it hanging around in the background, and you’re more likely to fall back into the bad (old) habit.

Become more aware of what you are doing when it comes to performing the new habit. This will also help you stop performing the bad habit.

Visualise yourself performing the new habit from start to finish. Feel the positive emotions of performing the new habit.

Stick with it – this will take time, but you will eventually put a massive distance between you and your bad habit, even if it never quite disappears!

I hope this has been useful and has given you a better understanding about habits and how our brain treats them.

If you want help with breaking your bad habits, then click the box below and book a short call.