The Two Fs Holding You Back

By Azzy Aslam

Performance & Change Coach. Helping you create new habits and turning them into your superpower!

25 Jul, 2019

What makes it difficult to change your life?


You, like me, will have read about FEAR being the thing that holds us back. If we simply conquered our fears we will live a fulfilled life. I do believe this to be true, however there is a missing piece.

There is more than one ” F ” that we are up against. The more I coach, the more I learn about myself and about us as humans, people, and emotional beings.

I noticed that there are generally two  ” F’s ” that keep us locked into unfulfilled lives – there are other smaller hinderences, but that’s another topic.

We tend to focus on just one ” F ” – FEAR. Even the word can cause an unpleasant feeling in the pit of our stomach. It makes our mind race and fill with thoughts that can stop us in our tracks.

You will know the list of FEARS that we talk about:

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Fear of what people will think
  • Fear of what people will say
  • Even the Fear of success
  • and the list goes on….

In part to the above fears the the other ” F ” is less frightening – becasue it is  FAMILIARITY.


Familiarity gives that feeling of comfort. You know what you have, even if it isn’t what you really want. The job you have has now become familiar, you know what you are doing. The routine it has and the routine it makes you work to, all becomes familiar. The people around you – some you may not get on with, but hey, it’s familiar and you know how to deal with them. Or you just put up with it.

Familiar with the relationship you have – it may not be ideal but you know how it works and that person is always there. 

As soon as you start to think of making any kind of change, fears start to kick in and have their effect, sending you back into the hands of familiarity.

When you are looking to make changes in your life, your performance, career, work, and your relationships, you have to plan to tackle the two ” F’s ” and be decisive in your actions.

Overcome the push of your FEARS & overcome the pull of FAMILIARITY.

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